Rich Kellman & I are HOMIES!

I sold thee Rich Kellman a cellular phone today. He was obviously a down to earth human being, mainly because he is one. I'm sure if I dealt with a lead anchor like Scott Levin, Don Postles, or Ron Burgundy they would be much more god-like. I'm no "mover-and-shaker" but I have stumbled across a few celebs in my stint in NYC. It has been discovered by Ra that I am more star struck with local celebs than international ones. We were sippin on some syrup in the downtownage once and we ran into those sorority intellectuals from UB who had their lives documented for my viewing pleasure. I was tugging on Rich's shirt more than a kid at a strip club.

WELCOME HOME LARRY

I couldn't be happier that my New York Knicks hired Larry Brown. He brings the club instant credibility. They have a couple of has-been superstars (Marbury & Houston), a couple of flashy players (Crawford & Richardson), and some new blood with the draft picks and the signing of Jerome James, which I reported earlier. I see no one better suited to mold this team into a winner.

GO

Andy Milonakis: Genius? Boob? Thirteen? Twenty-Nine? Enigma! I highly enjoy this gentleman's television show and watch it religiously. Even as I was watching Airplane! The Movie I realized that no piece of media is too silly for me. Mr. Milonakis is far past "tongue and cheek" and into the non-sense realm. Many have done this style before, ie. Andy Kaufman, Adam Sandler, and Tom Green . What I find unique about Andy is his subsequent growth disorder, which certainly hightens one's reactions to his hijinks. Aged 29 years, yet frozen in a mental and physical state of 13 the pitch of his show is an easy one to spot. I must say I recinded my admoration for him upon learning of his age, but now have recently come to terms with the premise of things. He has a lisence to act that age and it plays directly into his hands. I'm sure he has much anxiety due to his appearance and basically had nothing to lose by acting erratic in public. I can't wait to see him when he's 40 and he looks 14. I will end with a passage from Andy's theme song that has yet to leave my brain.

I rock peas on my head but don’t call me a pea head. Beas on my head but don’t call me a bee head. Bruce Lee’s on my head but don’t call me a Lee head. Now please excuse me, I gots to get my tree fed. You wear name brands and I make my own clothing. I hang out with an apple who loves self-loathing. “I hate myself.” Pancake on my face makes me extra happy. I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy. Cause it’s my show you can’t tell me what to do. When life hands me lemons I make beef stew. So yo I gotta go, it’s time for me to rock it. I put baloney in my left pocket. Smear some cream cheese in my gold locket. Cause it’s my show I’m Andy Milonakis. It’s my show I’m Shmandy Shmila-Shmakis. It’s my show I’m Andy Milonakis.

Sorry for the delay in posts, I know there is a huge demand to crawl into the mind of BK. I've kinda been busy with the preparation of the Beaneater, and my move to England so I haven't been able to post anything. Someone was leaving anonymous comments on thie site but I figured out who it was very quickly. Here's a pic of the tough guy in his lesbian days. I was trying to think of other news to post about, and all that was coming to mind was this poor sap. I bet Greg Lou-GAY-nis is sitting at home wiping the AIDS infested sweat off of his brow. A long time friend of mine, Brad Shipston, who is an advanced blogger posted a story about me in his crticially acclaimed blog, Berfnet. He takes it much more serious than I do, and his insecurities always force him into trying to humiliate me. Little does he know that a person with a lack of self-esteem can not be humiliated. Here's a nice picture of Brad and I from St. Patties day with one of his punk rocker friends.

Come Home Larry You can even bring the sweater...

Brand Knew Gets Real Pub

The Island Dispatch published a write-up I did about our lacrosse team, mere seconds after it was submitted. I took the U-17 team to the annual 1812 Shootout in Sacket's Harbor NY. When I pulled into BK on GI and realized we only had 11 guys, I was a little nervous. When we got there, we quickly found some ringers to run with us. One kid was from Philadelphia (Great Valley), and another from Northern NY (Lowville). I would pay to have these kids move to GI and play as they complimented our players very well. We finished 3-1 and in 5th place in out bracket. We beat teams from Westhill, Onondaga, and Central Square. We lost in overtime to Jordan- Elbridge. The driving wasn't fun, but I just hope the fun time that the kids had will create more interest for tournament as they help our club out immensely. GI Lax

Knicks sign Jerome James to 5-year deal

Please don't bust like the rest of them JJ. Despite the jersey number that you won't be able to keep, we already know you're no Ewing!

Cinderella Story

I shot a 50 today at Beaver Island State Park golf course. That is a horrible score but considering I play golf once a year. I thought I shot a 47 but then I counted the ball I lost and the 2 mulligans I took. I'm sure Nooch and PG (the guys I golfed with) will say I shot a 500. All I know is that I played well and I'm satisfied. I think I'm gonna play this like I should a Casino. I will take my winnings and go home with a summer average of 50.

The NHL is backHere's the only three people who care:

I figure this will be a nice place to update the world on my travels abroad, but until then you get to be informed on my wicked glamorous life on the island that is so grand. Fortunately I have a job that allows me to slash through the ever evolving world of blogging, like OJ through defenders or white people. I do have a great fear that my ADD will hinder my interest in this blooooo.......Wait...what was I talking about? I wasn't paying attention. If you are not aware I manage an authorized retailer for the mighty Verizon Wireless, which isn't too bad of a gig, because it is an in demand product in a non demand area of the country. Please refrain from asking me about your bill because you probably did use that many minutes last month. We really don't have too much pressure to sell our product, because we have competitive prices. The drawback is having to send a high volume of people to the corporate store. www.VZW.com Enthusiastically I be will moving to Bath England on September 1st to coach lacrosse for 7 months. The prospect of all of my stress created by and bottled in the US, vaporizing once I set foot on the empire's soil is very alleviating. The outline of my duties is well documented at the Bath Lacrosse site. I have never met any of these people but in true fashion they have already begun to tease me and my selection of ties through a web poll on the site. The way I see it, I will probably makes posts on this blog multiple times daily so just keep hitting refresh and it will change.